New Generation Episodes

by Jonathan Burt (JEB2@vaxa.york.ac.uk) 1 November 1991
The article below can be transmitted by any electronic means, and you may hold one personal electronic and printed copy. You also may make fun, flame, have raucous laughter, comment about, not understand, or just be plain bitchy about the whole thing. I don't care, I only did it for my friends, even if they didn't like it I enjoyed making it all up. Anything better than doing my History Degree. (Well almost anything).

"STAR TREK - THE NEW GENERATION" - Trekking as it has never been known before. The cast of "Next Gen" have been persuaded to take up their roles once more for an extraordinary new series based upon the old, but taking the concept much further. A new team of producers and writters has been employed to bring to your screens a fantastic run of classic "Trek" episodes, the like of which you will never have seen before ...

Original Ideas (well almost original) Jonathan Burt.
"Dworf", Peter Richards co-writer providing the original inspiration.

Season One of 'Star Trek - The New Generation'

1:01 DEAD AGAIN AGAIN

Keleyr returns through the body of the mysterious Dr Selar, much to the delight of Worf.

1:02 SOMEONE ELSE'S BABY

Beverly realizes she is pregnant - and by Will Riker, at the time when Odan was occupying his body in 'The Host'. Much moral and emotional complications ensue.

1:03 AMNESIACS

The entire Enterprise crew lose their memories due to a space phenomenon. Only Guinan is unaffected. Can she prevent the nearby Romulan vessel from opening fire?

1:04 A VERY QUEER CASE

Q has a laugh by inverting all the crews' sexual tendencies - will the romance between Picard and Riker blossom, or that between Troi and Guinan? And can Data, who is not affected, persuade Q to return things to normal?

1:05 TRANSMOGRIFICATION

To Worf's delight, Dr Selar's body, in which the mind of Keleyr now resides, starts to change to resemble the late Klingon ambassador.

1:06 THE DIET

Riker is now so fat that the turbo lift refuses carry him. With Troi's help the first officer goes on a diet.

1:07 CHIEF ENGINEER'S LOG

A day in the life of Geordi. However, today, things are not so mundane, as he spends it in bed with his bird, Christine.

1:08 THE BATTLE (PART II)

A remarkable follow up to the first season tale "The Battle". The Ferengi, led by the escaped villain Amster, return to wage war on the Enterprise, whom they blame for the destruction of their planet, Ferengus.

1:09 THE BOUGH IS NOW THOROUGHLY BROKEN

A one-off with Wesley returning to negotiate with the exciting race from 'When the Bough Breaks'. He must supply them with genetic material for reproduction before their ozone layer decays completely.

1:10 MIND TORTURE

Picard suffers a post traumatic break down as a result of seeing a photo of the Borg. Troi's efforts to counsel him go wrong and the Captain must face the evil inside.

1:11 BACK UP YOUR FILES

The Enterprise is crippled when the computer goes mad and assumes a male voice and wants endless sex with Riker. Fortunately Data can tap into the files to retrieve the emergency back up system.

1:12 THE IVORY TOWER

Lt Barclay and Riker indulge in a holodeck fantasy whereby Riker is the handsome prince and his dream girl the helpless princess stuck in a tower from whence the prince must rescue her. However obstacles such as the photon torpedo firing giant stand in the way.

1:13 I, WORF

A further power struggle on Klingon Homeworld forces Worf to return home, where he stands to be leader. A lot of back stabbing ensues, and Worf is beamed up tragically ill. Can Dr Crusher, still reeling from having Riker's baby, save him?

1:14 REJUVENATION (PART I)

Data and Picard take Mr Spock's evil twin, Mr Spick, to visit his brother on Romulus. While the brothers talk about their father, Sarek who is once more gripping Picard's mind, the two Starfleet officers decide to look up their old enemy Sela. Finding her address from the Romulan telephone directory, they arrive at the house, only to find an eldery Tasha Yar - Sela had lied in "Redemption part II" and in fact her mother still lives on Romulus!

1:15 REJUVENATION (PART II)

Data, since he cannot age himself, adjusts quickly to Tasha being so old and immediately attempts to profess and make love to her. Unfortunately Tasha has long since passed the menopause and is so old that she isn't interested in Data's intruging appendages. Sela arrives with a bunch of guards and the trio are beamed to the Enterprise by Riker (The Enterprise has borrowed a Klingon cloaking device for the mission). In revenge, Sela kills Mr Spick and puts Mr Spock in gaol (thus leaving things open for a sequel).

1:16 REJUVENATION (PART III)

Tasha is so ancient that she needs a wheelchair to sit at tactical - Worf is not pleased at being demoted. Tasha continues to be confused about Data's amorous advances, but Guinan sorts things out by explaining to Data that this Tasha never experienced the events of "The Naked Now". Data is so concerned that he perfects a device which turns back the years - Riker loses his pot belly, Picard gets back his hair and Tasha becomes young once more. She is so grateful that she sleeps with Mr Data to express her thanks. Data, in this classic episode, is thus confused by human emotions once more.

1:17 LIBIDO

At first, all is happy on board the Enterprise. Then Picard realizes he is losing hair from other parts of his body, and Riker, who has been spending a break with Deanna, realizes that he is losing something even more important. The consequences are so drastic that even Troi is stunned into silence, Guinan can't stop laughing, and Riker must turn to the only sober member of the crew on the matter, Data, who offers to lend him his on special occasions. What can be the explanation for these mysteries?

1:18 THE BEST OF BOTH MR HOM'S (Written by Edward J Lord)

It is time for the annual visit of Lwaxana Troi to the Enterprise. However, shortly after beam up, another Mr Hom appears and strikes down O'Brien. Disruptions continue on the Enterprise, until Geordi and Worf track down the offending Hom. (JNT: It was about time the series focussed on this great and underused character, who is seen to have much more depth than previously supposed in his touching scene with his alter ego, who is known in the episode as Mr Hum)

1:19 ENSIGN RO HO

Christmas time on board the Enterprise. Ensign Ro dresses up as Santa Claus and goes ho-ho when the crew reveal some interesting secrets and hang-ups through their requests for Santa to fill their stockings.

1:20 THE BINDING

Worf presides at a touching ceremony in which Data implants the necessary bits and pieces to Riker and Picard which had been lost in 'Libido'

1:21 DRUNK TO EXCESS

The Romulans are so annoyed with Mr Spock's constant interjections about logic that they return him to the Enterprise. Picard invites them over for a peace making party and they party to excess with wine Picard's brother has sent him. Meanwhile, Data and Tasha and Riker with Troi journey for romance into the holodeck.

1:22 A ROMULAN TALE

After they've all recovered from the party (see: "Drunk to Excess", Tasha, now returned from her romantic trip with Data on the holodeck, tells both the crew and their Romulan guests about the awful fate of the Enterprise C and her subsquent battle for survival on Romulus.

1:23 HAVE CONDOMS, WILL SELL

The Enterprise condom machine runs out. In a desperate situation, Picard hails a passing Ferengi ship. It transpires that they, indeed, have a few gross of the required item. Due to frantic demand, Picard is forced to negiotate a job lot. Unfortunately much frustration ensues when it becomes known that Ferengi condoms were made for Ferengis and not for humans.

1:24 THE FOOL

Riker takes command as Picard is recalled to Earth to account for being ripped off by the Ferengi. Due to his good relationship with Commander Padlock, in charge of a nearby Romulan vessel, Riker gets a few boxes of Romulan condoms in exchange for some more wine. Unfortunately he is far too late ...

1:25 POPULATION EXPLOSION

Because of some unusual properties inherent in Ferengi condoms, all the women on the Enterprise give spontaneous birth to bouncing baby boys. Can Riker cope? Dr Crusher's earlier experiences ("Someone Else's Baby") help her manage and she assists Troi, now the mother of Riker's first son. Worf and Selar are delighted; so is Geordi, although Christine is not too pleased. Only Data and Tasha feel left out, and so Data begins some interesting experiments to correct a fault in his fluid mechanisms.

1:26 HALLEUJAH, JESUS! (PART I)

The Enterprise, now under the command of Captain Riker, takes back on board the disgraced Ensign Picard and warps off to the centre of the Universe to interview God (see "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier"). Mr Spock comes on board to help out. Unfortunately when they get there they find that the Holy Trinity are having a clamp down on sexual immorality and are not pleased with the Ferengi Condom Scandal. They threaten to bring a punishment the Enterprise will not enjoy ...