Bohemian Treksody

extracted from The Final Chapter, part of the BarTrek series
by Todd Bobenrieth

Cut to holodeck where Wesley, Data, O'Brien, and LaForge are standing in a diamond shape close to each other.

Data:

Is everyone ready? Lets begin. (Blows into a harmonica)

All:

Is this the real life ... is this just fantasy. Caught in a wormhole, escape from reality. Open your eyes. Look up to the skies and see ...

Wesley:

I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy.

All:

Because I'm easy come, easy go.

Data & Wesley:

Little High

LaForge & O'Brien:

Little Low

Wesley:

Any way the wind blows

All:

Doesn't really matter to me ...

Wesley:

To me ...

A holographic image of Riker starts playing the keyboard line.

Wesley:

Mama, just killed a Rom. Put a phaser to his head, pushed the button, now he's dead. Mama, life has just begun, and now I've gone and thrown it all away. Mama ... oooohhhh, didn't mean to make you die. If I'm court-martialled here this time tomorrow, carry on ... carry on ... cuz it doesn't really matter. Too late ... my time has come. Sent shivers down my spine, cadets whining all the time. Goodbye everybody, I've got to go. Gotta leave you all behind or face Jean-Luc ... Mama ... oooohhhhh

Other 3:

Anyway the wind blows

Wesley:

I don't wanna die, I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.

The other 3 hold up signs saying "So Do We!" as a holographic image of Worf plays the guitar line.

Wesley:

I see a little Telerite on the viewer.

Other 3:

Scare Jean-Luc, Scare Jean-Luc, will you do the Borg dance, though?

All:

Phaser bolt and fighting, very very frightening, ME!

Data & Wesley:

Galileo

O'Brien & LaForge:

Galileo

Data & Wesley:

Galileo

O'Brien & LaForge:

Galileo

All:

Galileo Shuttle, oh

Data & Wesley:

Stargazer, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wesley:

I'm just a bright boy, everybody loves me.

Other 3:

He's just a bright boy, from a bright family. Spare us his life from this monstrosity.

Wesley:

Easy come, easy go, you can't make me go.

Other 3:

This moron, GO! We want this boy to go!

Data & LaForge:

Make him go!

Other 3:

This moron, we want this boy to go!

Data & LaForge:

Make him go!

Other 3:

Want this boy to go.

Data & LaForge:

Make him go.

Other 3:

Want this boy to go.

Wesley:

Never

Other 3:

Make him goooooooooooooooo.

All:

Go go go go go go GO!

Wesley:

Oh mama mia, mama mia.

Other 3:

Mama mia's dead, you know. Beverly C's got a devil for a son. Wesley ... Wesley ... WesLEY!!!!!

Wesley:

Nothing really matters, anyone can see. Nothing really matters, nothing really matters ... to ... me.

The holographic Riker finishes up the keyboard line.

All:

Anywhere the wind blows ...

Data lightly bangs the gong.

Data:

Program off.